as the tulips hit their prime, the alliums I forgot I planted came to life! I'm bummed I didn't grab a photo before the tulips lost their petals in a wind storm - the two levels of flowers with various shades of purple was really pretty.
Mike planted some windowsill herbs and they're taking off!
and the biggest shock... the peony bushes I planted last spring (and subsequently died an awful death last summer) reemerged blooming beautifully! I'm SO excited!There has been a great bit of personal growth as well. Last spring and summer I shared my journey giving up refined sugar for Lent and then transitioning into eating clean at the end of Lent. That was a life changing adventure for me - one that started out remarkably easy. While breaking the sugar addiction during Lent, my resolve and dedication was surprisingly strong. When I struggled with sacrificing my desires, it was easy to remember Jesus' sacrifice for me (the whole point of Lent) and the brownies that were tempting me instantly seemed so trivial. Others remarked at how easily I passed on treats and I was being completely honest when I responded that it wasn't hard. God gave me strength, resolve and purpose.
The first five months of my new lifestyle were really amazing. I was finally becoming the person I'd always hoped to be and basking in the benefits - more energy, balanced emotions, a positive outlook and fat loss (which wasn't at all on my mind when I began this journey). I was really, really happy and felt fantastic. I should have known to be on the lookout for Satan but I wasn't.
Over the summer, a few events away from home started to tempt me and crumble my once rock-steady resolve. Those little lies began to creep in my head and obsessive thoughts of cherry pie seemed to come out of nowhere. The further I got from Lent, the more this journey became about increasing my nutrition knowledge, sculpting better body and denying myself what everyone else was having and the less it became about strengthening my relationship with God and fueling my body to best be of His service.
My journey became increasingly difficult over the next six months as I attempted to keep up the "perfect" exterior, while experiencing spiritual warfare internally. Satan tempted me and when I succumbed (always in secret as to not make anyone else stumble), he used that guilt to make me feel even worse about myself. As I started to gain weight, he tore apart my self image and made me feel weak. I was dealing with food issues I'd never faced before and was angry that what started out so positive was now causing such struggle.
It wasn't until I found Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst that I realized my struggles were more about my relationship with God and less about food. "Some actions are not sinful in themselves, but they are not appropriate because they can control our lives and lead us away from God. Food is not the enemy here. Satan is the enemy. And his strategic plan is to render us ineffective or at least sluggish for the cause of Christ. When we're defeated and stuck in the issues of the flesh, it's really hard to fully and passionately follow hard after God." This book has been amazingly insightful. It has helped me identify that my real issue was with Satan and how he couldn't stand the strong, empowered, God-reliant person I had become. He was using my successes against me, making me feel defeated, taking my focus away from God and turning it to all I had given up.
My battle is now against lies. Lies that I need food as a reward, a comfort blanket, a means to feel emotionally full. Lies that my healthy ways were the cause of my struggle to get pregnant. Lies that I'm not strong enough to be so different. My truth is that God is the only one who can fulfill and needs to be my greatest desire, my source of strength and my ultimate comfort.
I experienced a time "where discipline makes disciples who truly understand what it means to delight themselves in the Lord" and long to be back there. I strive to be back to a place where Satan sees me as a threat - but this time I will be prepared.
"Everything is permissible for me - but not everything is beneficial." 1 Corinthians 6:12
I have grown so much over the last year and have realized that both my food struggles and my fertility struggles are a gift from God, that they have shaped me, matured my faith and strengthened my utter reliance on my Almighty God.
The first five months of my new lifestyle were really amazing. I was finally becoming the person I'd always hoped to be and basking in the benefits - more energy, balanced emotions, a positive outlook and fat loss (which wasn't at all on my mind when I began this journey). I was really, really happy and felt fantastic. I should have known to be on the lookout for Satan but I wasn't.
Over the summer, a few events away from home started to tempt me and crumble my once rock-steady resolve. Those little lies began to creep in my head and obsessive thoughts of cherry pie seemed to come out of nowhere. The further I got from Lent, the more this journey became about increasing my nutrition knowledge, sculpting better body and denying myself what everyone else was having and the less it became about strengthening my relationship with God and fueling my body to best be of His service.
My journey became increasingly difficult over the next six months as I attempted to keep up the "perfect" exterior, while experiencing spiritual warfare internally. Satan tempted me and when I succumbed (always in secret as to not make anyone else stumble), he used that guilt to make me feel even worse about myself. As I started to gain weight, he tore apart my self image and made me feel weak. I was dealing with food issues I'd never faced before and was angry that what started out so positive was now causing such struggle.
It wasn't until I found Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst that I realized my struggles were more about my relationship with God and less about food. "Some actions are not sinful in themselves, but they are not appropriate because they can control our lives and lead us away from God. Food is not the enemy here. Satan is the enemy. And his strategic plan is to render us ineffective or at least sluggish for the cause of Christ. When we're defeated and stuck in the issues of the flesh, it's really hard to fully and passionately follow hard after God." This book has been amazingly insightful. It has helped me identify that my real issue was with Satan and how he couldn't stand the strong, empowered, God-reliant person I had become. He was using my successes against me, making me feel defeated, taking my focus away from God and turning it to all I had given up.
My battle is now against lies. Lies that I need food as a reward, a comfort blanket, a means to feel emotionally full. Lies that my healthy ways were the cause of my struggle to get pregnant. Lies that I'm not strong enough to be so different. My truth is that God is the only one who can fulfill and needs to be my greatest desire, my source of strength and my ultimate comfort.
I experienced a time "where discipline makes disciples who truly understand what it means to delight themselves in the Lord" and long to be back there. I strive to be back to a place where Satan sees me as a threat - but this time I will be prepared.
"Everything is permissible for me - but not everything is beneficial." 1 Corinthians 6:12
I have grown so much over the last year and have realized that both my food struggles and my fertility struggles are a gift from God, that they have shaped me, matured my faith and strengthened my utter reliance on my Almighty God.
So stinking proud of the woman you are, the battles you face, the faith you have and the disciple you are becoming - looking every more like Christ. I look up to you in so many ways. I am so glad we always have each other and I am sorry I havent always fed words of life into your struggles, but I hope to do better, especially now that I understand the journey.
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